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Entry #3

apple sucks

2015-07-02 01:56:02 by Piemix
Updated

 

Greetings earthlings

Perhaps you have seen my posts, my threads, or other vocalized scripts of my apparent misfortune of experiencing the repulsive nature of something of an apple product. These laments are actually inclined to act as warning signs and cries for justice and betterment of the globe, as I assure you that you could probably find more use out of a ripped sponge that a really sick cat threw up after listening to brokencyde than a single ios device

ios actually stands for i openly suck

I have done much of my protest speeches on the newgrounds general forum, therefore I am not eager to address these concerns for the world's survival to its fullest detail. therefore, i shall summarize pinpoint information that the world so desperately yearns

iphone is dog doody. I actually want to pour gorilla glue in my dickhole and try to piss because of iphone. this device is an even bigger joke than my family's income and was invented by a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really intoxicated warthog that was actually trying to create poison to kill his son who missed the winning catch in warthog baseball this actually happened my mom told me

macbook makes me want to frantically stab open my ball sack with a pencil and sell the clay stuff to samsung

if you break a college kid's macbook right in front of them while trying to complete a research paper i guarantee you they would turn to you and say "I deserve it" because they know they're fucking douchebags

I would not suggest reading over this research paper because 1. it was formatted by a device manufactured by a  company consisting of profoundly retarded rhinos that are shot in the knees for hours at a time and forced to do squats and then develop new updates for the piss of the world ios and 2. the kid is already doomed for marriage and owning a home becaus he si so fuking stupid for buying a computer that a special kid could make in technology class by accident while actually trying to make a bottle rocket

you have better luck doing a chemistry presentation with a 10 foot long tongue and horrible social anxiety at stanford university and getting an A than accessing your storage via iClown

I told my grandpa that I got an iphone once and he jumped in fire

fear not however, for there is hope that this world will not only be saved but prosper and become far greater and more prestigious than ever, thanks to the almighty samsung

samsung will save us all and prevent world anarchy by blessing the universe with its miraculous wonders

long live samsung

#androidnation

 

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UPDATE - 03/02/2017

A thousand hearty welcomes to my fellow visitors on this fine evening

If you are unfamiliar with my presence on the forums, I am Piemix, a divine advocate for the wonderous deity of samsung, that has graced us with its unconditional fortune and heroic ventures to berid the world of a mass virus that has plagued humanity

apple is total dog shit

I would like to introduce the grand opening of this news update and discuss yet another meteor that has struck down the intelligence and moral values of the human race. this force, this threatening variable, is none other than the iphone 7

my therapist is actually a tyrannosaurus rex 

I have discussed these psychological conflicts with this wonderful dinosaur and he actually shot himself in the fuckin head when I brought up apple. miraculously, samsung brought him back to life and it was a gorgeous moment full of tears

the t rex wound up dying later that night from cancer though so that kinda sucks

#androidnation


Comments

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saucybirdsaucybird

2015-07-02 02:13:43

Lol I have Android and unfortunately it sucks too

also BLACK FLAG FOR DAAAAAAYS \m/

Piemix responds:

Aw yeah dude! I knew I'd find a fellow flag fan on here. I met Greg Ginn last summer and he was the man. Keep listening to awesome music brother \m/


Ciullo-CorporationCiullo-Corporation

2015-07-02 04:03:14

That's why I always used Windows...

Piemix responds:

good

apple is bullshit


JBKJBK

2015-07-09 17:20:42

apple shall be candyed

Piemix responds:

best regards to you friend :)

#androidnation


ChocomilkChocomilk

2015-07-15 23:24:32

My iphone likes to have the touch screen not respond to anything sometimes. I usually just throw it at something and it starts working again. They may suck but they're fun to throw at stuff

Piemix responds:

hahahah you're funny

buy samsung and throw iPhone at very small children

#androidnation


JBKJBK

2017-02-28 08:18:01

holy shit i commented on this

(Updated ) Piemix responds:

that's because you're the fucking man

#androidnation

edit: woman*


JBKJBK

2017-02-28 08:18:46

i listen to awesome music too. and also shit

(Updated ) Piemix responds:

Punk rock and metal every day brother \m/ \m/

#androidnation

edit: sister*


JBKJBK

2017-03-14 11:31:53

i made that edit long ago so you wouldnt have to

Piemix responds:

samsung is greatest

#androidnation


LeidolfrLeidolfr

2017-03-24 01:46:36

How much Aspergers DO you have there tiny roidrage?

Piemix responds:

I hope you get the living shit beaten out of you by a really scary black person

#androidnation